All that build-up for that?

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Well, it’s pretty much over folks. After a few assorted forms of opioids, half a dozen glasses of lemon juice, some incoherent rambling and one ineffective attempt at sexual touching, I have finally passed most of the kidney stone.

I have to say that I feel far less manly after seeing the little bit of shrapnel that caused me so much grief. I was expecting a marble-sized, jagged rock to slowly work it’s way through my urinary tract, while I bit down on a leather strap and cut into my arm with a bowie knife to take my mind off of the pain for a moment. After it finally came out the end in a glob of stone and blood clots, I would punch the barber in the guts, drink half a bottle of rot-gut whiskey and get on my horse, only to head to the next town, where I would bed their womenfolk and …

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Sorry, lost my train of thought. Where was I? Oh right, realizing how much of a little girl I am. I find it hard to believe that such small pieces of conglomerated minerals could wreak so much havoc on a person’s pain tolerance. I was truly doubled over in pain, even after the morphine and T-doll. Anyways, I’m still alive, and very sorry I didn’t have any decent material for my blog yesterday, my mind wasn’t really into anything but staying alive for my new family. (Yes, I know. I may exaggerate a little, but give me a break, I’m new at this) Anyhow, I have a day to heal up, and then back to the grind.

Please remember to feed Jake,

Birdman

2 Comments

Filed under Birdman, Humor

2 responses to “All that build-up for that?

  1. krista

    so glad to hear you survived!!! love the blog…guess this means your good to go for sat….BARREL ROLL!!!!!

    • therealbirdman

      I will be there, but we’ll have to see how my innards are feeling. I might just be a sub, or a part time benchwarmer. My body is still feeling it. Go Stray Cats!

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