I have had a terrible itch in my groin area for weeks now. It is quite embarrassing since the itch gets overwhelming and I end up scratching myself in public. Or sometimes I try rubbing against a pole or another person for relief. The judge said I can’t do that anymore. Is there anything you can do to help me?
Your problem reminds me of all of the times I’ve caught crabs from
impure women toilet seats in my younger days. What I do is scratch it until it’s raw and bleeding, and then pour rubbing alcohol all over the affected area. You may find the pain unbearable, so you should go out and steal half a dozen oxycodone from an injured relative, or if that isn’t possible, you’ll have to buy some from a dealer. Give me a call if that’s the case, and I’ll hook you up. I don’t know if that actually kills the little bastards, or if it’s the ensuing hospital stay and shaving, but you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
There might be a little dust on the bottle,
I am pretty sure you are the asshat that keeps sending me friend requests on Facebook. (how many ‘Itch EeBush’s can there be?). I’m going to make this short and sweet: You need to get yourself something for that nasty-ass situation you have brewing in your drawers. I recommend Kwellada Shampoo and a more discerning approach to dating.
Living like a honey badger,
My dog’s penis tastes bitter. What causes that?
Pink Pencil Ponderings
You need to feed a holistic diet, with one tablespoon of maple syrup mixed in with each feeding. I think you’ll find a much more pleasant taste, and a silkier texture. Enjoy.
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses,
OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE…that’s it! I give up.
If we don’t get better questions for Therapy Thursdays, I am taking a permanent vacation. This is bullshit.
Thinking you all need a probation officer and better hygiene,