First off, I’d like to thank Kim Kazda of Fort St. John, BC, my sister Shelley of no fixed address and my sweet baby for their generous donations. I really do appreciate every last donation, because I know you don’t have to do it. There are a shitload of things that you could spend that money on, and you chose to donate it to Movember; for that I thank you. Now, for all of you that haven’t donated, you must get up, go to a mirror, and slap yourself repeatedly. Now go
and donate to a very good cause. No, not my moustache, silly goose, to help the smart people fight men’s cancer. It’s not that I only want men to survive, but why should women get to hog all of the cancer fundraising? I understand that women have some extra parts that can be affected, but we want to feel like we’re doing something as well. The problem is that balls are ugly, and boobs are beautiful, but we need the balls to make more children, and boobs would be useless if balls couldn’t do their job. Well, I guess boobs will never be useless, but you know what I mean. Here’s my lip today, please don’t tease me.
These folks know how your money needs to be spent, so let’s all band together and
gently stroke kick ass cancer’s ass.
These boots were made for walking,