I always love catching old episodes of Sex and the City on Cosmo TV late at night when I have nothing better to do but sit around and enjoy one of my few guilty pleasures. Sure, it’s completely unrealistic to think that a woman could be *that* ridiculously neurotic when she is thin, beautiful, and has that many hot fellas chasing after her, but whatever…I’m willing to suspend disbelieve if it means 30 minutes with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.
It’s funny when I think about the archetypes that these characters represent, and how at one time or another, we are all the vamp, the proper lady, the career girl, and the hopeless romantic searching for her perfect mate. We do it, and so do all of our friends. Our lives are one big Sex and the City episode, but with cheaper drinks and a few more pounds.
Just last night I was out on an impromptu Ladies Night with some of my favorite gals, and conversation turned to life, love and the pursuit of happiness. We all agreed that the common thread in our lives is time spent with other women, laughing, and sometimes crying our way through our good and bad times. It is so sad that we do not always make the time for these women in our lives; People who raise us up, and sometimes, talk us down. We decided we would do our very best to plan more occasions to spend time with our Ladies, because we MISS them.
When I was a child, there was always a handful of kids to play with, girls and boys, helping me and my siblings pass the days spent playing outside till the streetlights came on. As I got older, I gravitated toward the girls who would conspire and commiserate with me. If I had a dime for every boy that caught my eye and promptly broke my heart, I’d have about two and a half bucks, but if that same pile represented the number of friends who were forced to listen to my drivel, the amount would surely be enough to buy a nice pair of Jimmy Choos. I assure you I am not kidding.
From high school on, there was always some boy that I was dying to ditch my friends for, if only he would be interested! I wasn’t the only one though. Every one of us waited with bated breath for some boy to spend any amount of time ignoring us, or treating us like crap so we could rush back to our posse and gush about how ‘amazing’ he was. It’s pitiful when I think about it now, but at the time I would have broken my legs to get to whatever place a boy might be at, bailing on a month-long date with a good friend in the process.
Thank goodness, with advanced age comes an appreciation for the things in life that are truly worth nurturing, and a willingness to close the door on things that are not worth our time. This of course, brings us back to the original love affair with the ones who nurtured us from the beginning, and who have known us all along: our girl friends. We finally realize that time spent in the company of a good friend is like a much-needed recharge of our batteries. Laughing with our friends makes us feel alive, real and like young women again. We are assured that we all have the same hopes, fears and dreams that we have always had, and our lady friends will be there to encourage us when needed, and to slap us the fuck down if required. They have dragged our ass out of bars, held our hair held back while we puked, stood beside us when we married (sometimes more than once!), cried with joy for us when we welcomed babies and helped us say goodbye to the people we have loved.
There is no one who knows us better and no one who will be honest with us when we have truly outgrown our favourite outfit.
I have missed being a part of a big circle of friends who meet frequently, and do things together frequently for the simple reason that they enjoy each others company. For some reason it takes lots of us 30 odd years to figure out that we really need to nurture our women-friendships, because they will outlast most of the man-relationships we get ourselves into. I can remember a tense stand-off in the driveway of one of my bestie’s many years ago. I had expressed some concern about the rapid speed at which her new relationship was proceeding (approaching the speed of light, it seemed), and as women tend to do, she shared my concerns with him. He angrily accused me of trying to lady-block him, and talking smack about him to my BFF. I went eyeball-to-nipple with him (he was a good deal taller than me) and was fully ready to face off. I reminded him that I had been there before he arrived on the scene, and that I would most certainly be there when he was long gone. I don’t think he cared for that much. I don’t see him too much anymore, but I see a lot more of her now that she’s divorced. 😉 Full circle, baby.
People who know me know that I am the happiest I have ever been, and I have found my soul mate. (Can’t get a blog post done without squeezing some love for the Birdman in there!) I am lucky that he loves and appreciates my friends, and he would choose to be friends with most of them on his own. He knows that having a large and supportive circle of friends keeps me sane, happy and energized. These women in my life are like a constant well of love, support and great fun. I feel like one of the luckiest women in the world because I truly have it all. I have the most incredible husband-to-be, children that make my heart swell with love and pride, and beautiful, intelligent women in my life that make me laugh until I pee my pants. Well, not yet, actually, but I’m sure it will come as my bladder ages. These are some funny bitches, right here, I tell you what. 😉 I am looking forward to some real quality time with my girls in the future, where we can wear our PJ’s, eat, drink and laugh until our heads hurt, and then remember almost none of it the next morning. Bliss. The older I get, the more I look forward to these precious evenings stolen away from ‘regular life’ to re-connect and revel in the joy of true friends and shared experiences.
Ooo you make me live now honey,