Might as well finish out the weekend

Where were we? Oh right, I like the gays, the love, and the stats. Oh yeah, the stats. The stats tell me who reads and follows the blog. I always wonder who the people are by their IP address. Like who lives in Clarks Summit, PA, Calgary, AB, or Vernon, BC, that reads the blog? I really don’t expect people to tell me, but I’ve always been curious, nonetheless. What got me wondering about all of this was another blogger that I’ve started following. I’ve been reading the Thoughts From Paris blog, and I really like some of his stories. I think he’d be a good guy to have a beer with, or to tease and throw things at. It seems that he has a lot of the same insecurities as I do, but way more of them, and that makes me sleep better at night.

There are a few things I’d like to say about the blog, or any blog for that matter. Hell, it could be anything at all, really. If you like the piece that you’ve just read, click the Facebook like button at the bottom of the post. It only takes a second, and it will keep me from squeezing my testicles until I puke. Really though, it only takes a second, and it really helps out with my self esteem. I can’t speak for others, but it’s like that pat on the back after a hard days work, when your boss thanks you, and tells you that you did a great job. I don’t want any false praise or anything, because if people don’t like it, then I don’t want to think that they do. It would just be nice to gauge peoples interest levels on different subjects.

Another thing I plan on doing when I get time, is bring Therapy Thursdays back. It’s not that it takes a lot of time to answer, but I am going to have to think up questions as well, because you bastards are too lazy or indifferent to ask any. No home renovation questions, no proper fishing techniques, no nothing. People keep sending messages that say they have a question, but no one ever asks it. WTF?

Okay, now I’m mad, so I’m going to rant about God for a while. Nah, I’m just kidding; God is his own worst enemy. He’ll drive everyone away on his own. I’ll just be waiting here at the Church of the Open Mind, and I’ll be accepting all who wish to enter. I really would start a church, if I was a lot ballsier. You can make a shitload of cash if you have a church. It doesn’t even have to be a nice church. The shittier, the better is what I think. You can raise money from your congregation, fix your church up until it glimmers, then you sell it to a a bigger church, and move on to do it all again. Cha-ching, bitches, Daddy just got paid. Really though, I remember driving through Ohio, and seeing this massive Jesus sculpture coming out of the water.

Don't worry, I'll catch you.

I ,of course, immediately went and looked up the Solid Rock Church, to find out what I could about it. Pretty fucking shady people that own that church. That statue was erected in 2004, and it cost $250,000 to build. It’s made of styrofoam, fibreglass and has a steel frame. It is sixty two feet high, and is taller than the closer buildings. Now, what have we learned about towering steel structures in the open? That’s right, lightning hazard. Good thing there’s all that water around to keep the lightning under control.

This is what happened when the lightning finally hit it. Can’t you just taste the burning foam from here?

Dad, I didn't spill my semen on the ground. Technically, it was on her shirt.

Anyhow, here’s a link to a court case involving Darlene Bishop, the co-pastor of the Solid Rock Church. You don’t need to read more than the intro, to realize that this chick is either crazy, or just plain evil. They should also have to pay some sort of tax for polluting the world with their burning foam Jesus. As if no one thought of lightning, steel and flammable styrofoam as a possible fire hazard. Oh well, apparently they are rebuilding him, and had him insured for twice what it cost to build.

Enough about me. How are you doing? I’m sorry for bringing down the religion hammer on Sunday. God bless, and all that jazz.

She thinks all my jokes are corny; convict movies make her horny,

Birdman

2 Comments

Filed under Humor, Life

2 responses to “Might as well finish out the weekend

  1. Vette

    I love how you call us “the gays”. Makes me feel special. We aren’t just “gay”, we are “The Gays”. Sweet.

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