I’m a little bit pissed

I should have a lot to blog about tonight, but I’m just drained. I’m fairly angry, so that helps to fuel things on a bit. It’s an anger that has been smoldering for over a year, and just has the odd flare up once in a while. I’m talking about doctors. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all doctors that I’m angry with, it’s just some of them. I’m not one of those people that thinks all Catholic priests are pedophiles, just because a small percentage of them diddle kids. I think they are fucked in the head to accept a life of celibacy, and expect to never get horny, but that’s beside the point. You can’t blame them for the way the church is run, right? Oh wait, if they are molesting kids, then yes, you can blame them. They know that shit is wrong, and they have to know that they really won’t be forgiven for their sins, because I doubt that any God would take kindly to that sort of business.

Let’s get back on track. Doctors. Some of them just don’t seem to give a shit. As I’ve stated before, I’ve been angry for quite some time, and it’s because of the apparent apathy that some doctors have. I’m sure that I’m just lashing out and laying blame for the injustices served unto my family, but what I’ve witnessed this time around, sickens me. The constant misdiagnoses, misprescribed medications, lack of caring and lack of communication scares and angers me to a raging boil. I know that the doctors are very busy, and the testing facilities are working 24/7 to keep up with our increasingly ailing population, but if a doctor reads a test result and says that it is a very aggressive form of cancer that hasn’t spread yet, I think booking an MRI or CT scan in two weeks is giving it the chance it needs to spread. You may not know this, but I’m not a doctor, and I could be wrong on this, but I would think you would slide the person into the lineup that day, and read the results immediately. I am speaking as a saddened family member, and as a consumer.

Does it not make sense that you should act very fast to try and nip it in the bud, saving on several other tests, medications, and palliative care? I would think that in such an instance, time would be of the essence, and instead of having to double up on treatments after it spreads, just give a few as a preemptive strike. I know that everyone looks back and tries to figure out how it should be done, but we were saying that all along. I’m sorry for venting about things that we can’t control, but I’m now watching what my mother has to go through each and every day, just to try and make Paul more comfortable, and lessen his pain and suffering. It’s horrendous. I know he’s the toughest prick that cancer has ever fucked with, but she’s no slouch either. She’s right there on the front lines, cutting and running, sneaking back on the flank for slice here, and a jab there. She’s tired, but she still fights, and as proud of her as I am, I can’t help but weep when I try to put myself in her shoes.

I truly hope that I never have to put Mrs. B through anything like that. I know that she’d come at it head on, just like Mom, because she’s so much like her in so many ways, but I never want to see her get that beat on. I hope that none of you have to go through it, like so many others have, but we all will at one point or another. Not many can escape this shit. If it isn’t cancer, it’ll be something else that brings a loved one to their knees, while you watch helplessly; trying to think of something that you can do to make their life better, if even for a moment. I do hope that you are spared that helpless feeling of disorientation, thinking that it will just sort itself out, and then realizing that things don’t always fix themselves in this world. There’s not much to do, but to try and give as much strength as you can to the people who need it, and help out where you can. You’d be surprised at how much listening to someone cry for a few minutes will help give them a bit of clarity that they could probably use.

Anyhow, to the health care professionals that don’t seem to care about people; go pound sand and get into another line of work, and to the ones who do care, and go above and beyond the call of duty; my hat is off to you, and you need to know that you are the difference between someone dying with hope and a smile, or pain in their heart. Sorry for ranting about something that we can’t do anything about now; I just needed to unload, and you all seem to have shoulders that are wide enough for my burdens. Thanks for always being there, and I promise that I’ll try for some humour tomorrow.

There’s a healing in those guitars and a spirit in the song,

Birdman

P.S. This was supposed to be for the morning of the 27th, and I fucked up and hit publish now. I’m not changing it, because the notifications have already gone out, and that’s that. Sorry folks.

4 Comments

Filed under Birdman, Life, Rant

4 responses to “I’m a little bit pissed

  1. I love you baby. Xoxoxo
    Come to bed ❤

  2. Lori

    I’ve been right where you are and it sucks. Love and prayers sent your way

  3. Pingback: Fuck Cancer. » Change The Topic

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